Welcome to my brain. Things are not quite lined up right in here. I think I measured wrong?
Maybe you can relate. Quick quiz: When you close your eyes, how many chimpanzees are leading the cat parade, and do their costumes have sequins or rhinestones or both?
Psst… Pick “Rhinestones.” Trust Me
If you said none because, duh, you can’t herd musical cats (or…any cats?) from the front, then you’re in the right place.
Everyone knows you have to be behind them.
Also, rhinestones was the right answer. But if you said sequins, I’ll allow it.
If you said both, that’s a little over the top. Maybe you should take your medication before you read any further?
The Meaning Of Life Is Movie Popcorn. The End.
So…why are we here? I don’t mean existentially, although if you want to debate that, I’m in.
No, I was talking about this site. Why did I create it, and how can it help you?
Well, I have ADHD. Despite that, my life is (mostly) organized even if my brain fights it. Every. Single. Day.
It wasn’t always that way. I took a long, meandering road to get here. A road with so many potholes, I thought I was in Pennsylvania.
Wait, I am in Pennsylvania.
Anyway, that’s where you come in. I hope to share what I’ve learned through the years, maybe fill in some of the alignment-jarring-craters in the next mom’s journey.
Unfortunately, and I wish this wasn’t so, I can’t rewind my kids’ childhoods and make things better for them. They had a flaky mom, and if I could do it better, I would. In a heartbeat.
But if organizing doesn’t come naturally to you, maybe what I’ve learned can help you muddle through more quickly. Help you get a jump on the methods, systems, and tricks I learned a little later in the game.
And maybe you can share your own journey with me, too. I’m always willing and ready to take the next baby step.
We’re in this together, and we can learn from each other.
PLEASE DON’T LOOK IN THE GARAGE
So, are you tired of being called a slob? Or flaky, disorganized, ditzy, dizzy, absent-minded, sloppy, or scatterbrained? Nice labels, huh?
Although, I mean, I’m okay with being a little flaky (just don’t call me that). But not at the expense of doing everything I want to do. We naturally disorganized moms – we are a creative people, if I do say so myself.
But how many super artistic this is-the-best-idea-I-can’t-believe-I-thought-of-this projects have you not started because you just can’t get them to travel from your brain out into the world? And I won’t even mention how many of the ones you’ve started are still sitting there, staring at you, begging you to finish them?
Half-painted-end-table-that-would-look-so-awesome-as-an-ottoman-but-also-works-as-a-horizontal-surface-to-put-all-the-crap-in-the-garage-on, I’m looking at you.
In my defense, that’s not really an unfinished project. It’s an abandoned project. That’s different, right?
THE TWO TWIX FACTORIES MAKE THE SAME PRODUCT! WHO KNEW?!!
Does any of this sound familiar? Are you jumping up and down joyously saying “yay! That’s me!”
Well, okay, more likely, you’re cringing in a corner saying “why yes, Joni, that does sound like me. Thanks for dragging this train wreck out into the light.”
JUNE CLEAVER, SUPER HERO. WARD, YOU REALLY NEED TO INCREASE HER ALLOWANCE. I’M SERIOUS.
Don’t worry. I have no aspirations of teaching you to be exactly like everyone else. To never have a creative thought again, a la The Stepford Wives.
Great book though. And a tiny part of me sometimes thinks it would be nice. Not the being killed and replaced by a robot part. But the having it all together and plus wearing pearls during the day part.
June Cleaver, you’re my hero. In theory anyway.
If I had to actually be June Cleaver, I’d probably end up in an asylum. But the clothes…and the food. Because you just know she was an awesome cook.
SUPPLEMENTED BY LOTS OF NON-WORK (THANK YOU, NETFLIX)
Back to the point. I’m a reformed messy mom, but my inner flake (I can call myself a flake – okay, you can too now since you’re my friend) is still alive and well.
Through lots of work and trial and error, I’ve figured out how to manage my family and my life in a world that thinks a
little lot differently than I do. But I still embrace my inner flake when it matters.
Because let’s face it, we will never be “normal.” But why would we want to be?
Other than the food. And the pearls.
YOU CAN ALSO PUT YOUR CAT IN A YELLOW SHIRT. BUT HE MIGHT SCRATCH YOU.
I just want to help you hold it together when you need to and keep all those judgey moms (spell-check tells me that is not a real word but it totally is…and they totally are) from destroying your self-esteem.
Because they do. And they like it. Therapy might help that.
For them, I mean.
In the meantime, let’s just get your car to the point where soda cans don’t fall out in the car line at school. Let’s get you where you need to be when you need to be there (even if you seriously don’t want to be there). Let’s help you remember to put your kid in a yellow shirt on yellow day.
By the way, why oh why do these preschool teachers think it’s such a good idea to constantly come up with special ways to help you disappoint your children?
I’M NOT AN EXPERT. I JUST PLAY ONE ON THE INTERNET.
Let me help you do all those things. Without lecturing. Or pretending to be an expert. I’ll tell you what worked for me. And you can take it from there. Because I believe in you.
My household management series, Managing the Day-to-Day, is posted and ready. It’s a great place to get started.
If you need help shoveling out from under, start with Cleaning.
Don’t have time for a lot of reading? Check out my Quick Hacks, Tips, and Tricks page. I even included a link to let you skip all my jibber jabber and get right to the tips.
Or if you feel like wandering, shuffle through the Latest From the Blog for random help and commiseration…
Don’t worry, my friend. We got this!